UnknownCheats Officially Certified Retarded


Certification Date: 12/27/2017

Certified by Andrzej 'mj0nes' Kolikowski



EY.MD is proud to announce both the launch of our Certification Division and our first Certification of Retardation of a site known as UnknownCheats.me

UnknownCheats is a site that has been around for a pretty long time and has not always been known around the 'real m3n circle' for being a retarded site, however, it appears that in recent years they have really strived for this certification.
A lot of their knowledgeable (read: with a brain) staff members left the shitty site and there was no other choice for UnknownCheats other than leaving the moderation of the site to a bunch of 15 year kids who spend their days in their grandparents' attics and get easily offended. The proof of retardation can be seen in actions such as the banning of my 5+ shitposting unknowncheats accounts as well as the banning of the smartest man on the forum who went by the name of Analog. They also no longer approve nor allow any posts that mention MrEpicGoat or the previously mentioned most intelligent being on the forum (who became the most intelligent person on the forum after my ban).
A man of my intelligence was able to circumvent his previous 5 bans on the site as well as their approval of my posts by posting a variation of MrEpicGoat's name inside of an APB Lib thread (which sucked dick btw).
Recently a third party posted a thread regarding MrEpicGoat and his recent actions that involved banning cheaters with the help of his outstanding ring-1 APB anti-cheat as well as the crash of the APB infrastructure which was unable to handle the implementation of the AI heuristic ring-1 anti cheat. While the anti-cheat was strongly applauded by the likes of Ms. Migliaccio as well as her tortured horses, a 15 year old staff member by the name of 'wlan' decided that the thread was created for what he refered to as 'stroking an e-cock' (projecting much?).

The EY.MD Investigation Team of the Retardation Certification Division got wind of these actions (myself included) and decided to investigate by joining the UnknownCheats discord and discussing these kindergarten like actions with the grown up (read: 15 year old) staff members.


MrEpicGoat inquired regarding his ban and was told that the 'ban page' definitely gives him a reason which was a false statement as I (an upstanding m3n) have seen that page many times and never once saw a reason for the ban, however, one cannot expect 15 year old staff members to know anything regarding the inner workings of their outdated vBulletin.

As you can see we were also informed by the man who spends his days moderating a shitty forum full of brainless coons that he had 'more important things to do' which also turned out to be a false statement as he was seen typing just a short while later.
wlan was unable to properly express himself as his grandpa pulled himself up the stripper pole installed up into the attic and demanded that he be orally serviced right then and there.
I then decided to take it upon myself to log in to several of my banned UnknownCheats accounts and verify that no ban reason is visible to the banned end user (covering my bases).

I also mentioned to their 15 year old staff that I sent in an email to their email box [email protected]unknowncheats.me in order to discuss my ban and never received any sort of correspondence back. The email in question can be seen below.

I was then promptly removed from the Discord after stating that I would be attempting to contact them at their email address several thousand more times from a variation of mailboxes to ensure that my message was received.
In turn, I also posted a reply to a post of wlan's on the forum and promptly logged out so that I wouldn't get PTSD from the ban page I was sure was coming.

Looks like I was right.
I then forwarded my previous email message and asked a very simple question to which I have not received a reply yet.

Upon further investigation of their discord by some of the detectives of our investigation team we did in fact confirm that they would be the recipients of our Certification of Retardation.
See for yourselves.


We would therefore like to congratulate the conglomerate of 15 year old boys known as 'Staff' from UnknownCheats (read: irrelevantpeople) on achieving our Certification of Retardation. We wish you the best in running a run-down shit-tier cheat site,

EY.MD Team in conjunction with TeamGamerFood and MrEpicGoat (as well as his team of attorneys).